A post I never thought I'd have to write...

"You know Nanny would've just loved Lu!" is the last thing I remember my mother telling me. She said other things, but none stuck like that one. She was referring to my grandmother (her mother) who passed away when I was in high school. I spent every weekend at my grandparents...we watched Golden Girls, did crossword puzzles and drank tea. It was the best part of my childhood and I miss every second of it and her. I knew that my grandmother would've loved Lu, she would've spoiled her rotten and snuggled her endlessly. When my mom said that, I got a weird feeling in my stomach, saddened that my grandma never got to meet Lu and how I wish we'd had more time.

On August 11th, 2011...my mother died.

I still can't believe it.

My head is in a fog, everything that was important to me now seems irrelevant. The moment my father called to tell me that he'd found my mother dead in her bed...my heart skipped a beat and will never return to the calm and trusting rhythm it once held. Everything and I mean everything about my life has changed.

My best friend and mom is dead...the person I called several times a day just to chat...will never talk to me again...will never meet any of my future kids...will never walk through my front door. She is gone.

My mother had been battling a rare form of sarcoma, an aggressive tumour on her face. She'd had a radical surgery, removing bone and skin that required extensive repair. She lived with us last summer while she went through several months of daily radiation, and still she smiled and trudged through it all. She received the all-clear and we were elated. A couple months ago, she began complaining about headaches and tiredness. She worried the cancer had returned but after her last check-up in June she was relieved to find out that everything was still fine.

In July, we went home to visit my parents for a week. My mother was very tired and slept a lot of the week away. This was not uncommon for her to do the last few years or so...she had been through a lot and was still getting her zest back, or so we thought.

The night before my father called to break the news, I talked to my mom on the phone...we chatted about our plans for the next day and how she wanted to come visit us soon. I said "Bye, talk tomorrow" and that was it.

August 11th, Lu and I decided to have a midday nap and called my parents house. No one answered, I told Lu that Grammy was sleeping and to leave a message. We crawled into the big bed and drifted off to sleep...then the phone rang.

Love you always.

My father said my name, followed by "Your mom passed away". I kept repeating "DAD WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!!!" He explained between sobs that he'd gotten home from work, went up to their bedroom to ask my mom if she wanted to eat something for lunch. She didn't reply. He called her name from across the room again...nothing. He slapped her leg with his hand...she was very hard. He looked at her face, her lips were purple....he threw the sheets off of her, she was covered in dark spots...he screamed my mom's name over and over and ran to call an ambulance. She had been gone for over 8 hours.

Now come all of the what-if's. My dad feels tremendous guilt for not asking her if she wanted to get up and have breakfast that morning, he decided to let her sleep in. The coroner came to the house and told my dad that it was her heart. She'd had a heart attack in her sleep...most likely from all of the stress of the last few years. All of the medications and the COPD she had needed puffers for. Her heart just couldn't take it anymore and off she drifted to sleep...forever. My mom was only 56 years old, this is so incredibly wrong.

I'm sitting here typing this and it feels like it's happening to someone else. I walk around like a zombie all day...nothing is important anymore. To say I am devastated, would be a very very serious understatement. The one person I could count on for anything...is gone.

I know that I need to keep getting up in the morning for Lu, she needs me to be here and take care of her like my mother took care of me. I hope Lu never knows this pain.

"Blood Out?"

We're starting to get into the groove of things over here. 7am trips to the clinic for bloodwork and ultrasounds. Lu is a little trooper when it comes to getting up at 5:30. I'll rub her back and tell her it's the morning and that we have to go to the doctor. She usually replies with "Blood out?" and hops to her feet instantly. I know she doesn't understand why we're going exactly but she sure seems motivated by something. I'm in the 2ww right now and hoping with everything in me that this is it for us. I'm soooooo ready to be pregnant and end the cycles of Clomid. This month I tried Ovidrel for the first time which is a subcutaneous injection to the stomach. A lot easier than I thought it would be...but I'd be totally cool with not having to do that again!

Canada Day Fireworks 2011

Lu is doing really well these days, talking up a storm and extremely conscientious. She says her "please" and "thank you's" without fail and even throws in the occasional "Nice to meet you" to strangers in passing. I don't know what I did to have such a lovely miss. 

It has been a very busy month, we took Lu to her first fireworks on Canada Day and she was amazed! We also went to Pride which is a huge attraction in Toronto. She watched the Dyke Parade and waved at all the ladies riding motorcycles and marching. She even got a frisbee and whistle for her efforts. I hope Lu grows up to love all kinds of people despite their sexual or racial differences. It upsets me that there are still people out there teaching hate to their kids. It boggles my mind.

Lula Pearl M.D

It's a happy day in Hooterville, mom's biopsy came back all-clear! She'll have to come back every 2 months for catscans but that's definitely something we're cool with.

Bird watching with friends.

The 2ww proved fruitless and presently you can find me clutching a heating pad and cursing my uterus. Back to the drawing board in a few weeks, a year and a half has gone by. Friends have been pregnant and had their children while we've been trying...that really blows my mind.

Little Miss is great. She's such an awesome person and so loving these days. She asked me if my tummy hurt yesterday and when I responded "yes"...she ran off to get her doctor kit. She checked my blood pressure, checked her pager, used tiny scissors to cut my nails and looked in my ear. Followed by a quick check of my heart...

"Mummy all better now?"

How could I not be just a little better? <3

Lovely Lady Lumps

The last week has been a whirlwind of appointments and activities. I find myself feeling guilty for wanting to snuggle in bed for the day with the little lady. This is completely ridiculous of course because we seriously need a few days of snuggles and cartoons. Laying in the big bed covered in sticky spots from juice boxes and brushing cookie crumbs off our feet.

My mother was in town for her bi-annual cancer check-up. She received radiation last summer for a sarcoma on her face. After the treatment, she received the all-clear and we were relieved to say the least. This appointment was scary from the start, she had found a lump in her neck a month or so ago. Since finding it, it's grown and she has been stressing out about it. At her appointment last week, the doctor was quite alarmed by it and ordered an immediate biopsy. A few days ago I took her to get the lump aspirated and now we await the results. It's either benign...or the cancer has spread to her glands.

To say I'm stressed, is a major understatement.

On top of this, I'm in the 2ww (9dpo). - HPT this morning although I'm sure it was a bit too early to test anyway. Having a lot of symptoms, starting to feel like if this isn't it when I feel all of these symptoms, I'll never be able to tell when it does happen. Super moody too, ugh. Nobody best get in my way today...I can't be responsible for my actions.

Unfair Fair.

Big kids drive me crazy!! Is it just me or are pre-teen kids clumsy and reckless?
We took Lu to a fun fair at the school across from our apartment building. It was fun...cotton candy, veggies dogs and raffles. Let's not forget the "bouncy cassuh" as Lu calls it. The only thing that sucked was how much she kept getting knocked around by rambunctious older kids who just plowed her down without a second care. I try my best to keep her close but sometimes she takes a couple steps away...and WHAMMO! A little boy comes flying past and knocks her to the ground...ugh. Where are these kids parents? Seriously pisses me off.

I have no patience for crazy kids. Do they all go through a wild, out-of-control phase? I can't picture Lu being that way and I hope I never have to deal with it.

One boy didn't look more than 7 or so and was throwing golf balls at a glass window....his mom pretended she didn't see him. I couldn't let him keep doing it so I told him to "Be careful because those are glass windows and could break". He gave me this crazed look, almost as though to say, that was what he was attempting to do.

So we grabbed little Miss and got her the hell away from Destructo, much to her displeasure.

I am petrified of her starting school. Don't get me wrong, I trust her to pieces...it's everyone else I'm worried about :/

Sniffles and All Things Cruddy

Little Miss is sick, sniffles and shnots and "mommy snuggle?". I know some people think it's heartbreaking when their kid coughs or sneezes....but I kinda like it...I don't like it when she has a fever or is in a lot of pain, that's not what I mean.
I just enjoy the extra snuggliness, the need she has for her mommy to be nearby for hugs and consoling. As she gets older, she needs me less.

She's already begun with the "I do it!" every two seconds. In the last month, she has learned to put on her Pull-Ups and take off her shirt and pants. It's really remarkable how fast these changes happen.

Speaking of changes (or in this case non-changes), yet another month of nothing on the baby front. I've almost lost hope that this is going to happen again...that my body is failing me at it's most basic level. So we begin again, the early morning u/s's and pokes. Hoping next month is THE month and we can get back to normal over here.

Rebirth.

Going through Lu's closet is a cleansing time...and also a sad time.
Putting away all those teeny tiny onesies and too small shirts. Tiny balled up socks
are the worse, almost too small to fit anyone. They get lost in the recesses of the wardrobe and pop up when you really don't need a reminder that your little miss is growing up.

Lu at 8 months

Thankfully the little lady isn't growing as fast as a lot of kids her age. She's 2 1/2 but still fits in the 18-24 month stuff. I like getting a lot of wear out of her clothes since one of the main complaints by parents is that their children outgrow things before they get a chance to wear them.

The bins of her too small clothing are starting to take over the closet in her room. A sign that she's growing up and another sign that I buy WAY TOO MUCH CLOTHING for this kid! Seriously, they shouldn't make girls clothes so bloody cute.

As summer rears it's lovely little head, it's time to break out the pretty dresses and tiny shorts (last years still fit!).

As much as spring is a rebirth, it's also hard on me. Infertility...that damn word that only those who have suffered from, truly understand. We're a year into our battle again and the pokes and prods have only just begun.

Hoping that next summer I feel differently about tiny balled up socks and find them in the wardrobe again.

I Tumble For Ya...

Yesterday was a little crazy. We had the whole day planned out because of doctors appointments, voting and the little lady's new gymnastics class.

We went to vote first thing in the morning so I could get one thing out of the way. Then, headed downtown for a doctor's appointment at the hospital. I wasn't told ahead of time that I needed someone there to watch Lu so you can imagine my shock when I was told that I couldn't bring her into the quick procedure I was having done. Ugh! The nurse said that I should ask someone in the WAITING ROOM to watch her...ummm NO!! Who does that??

"Hey lady, yeah you...the one in the gown picking her nose...could you watch this kid for ten minutes?"

Seriously, what kind of parent would I be if I handed my child off to a complete stranger? So I told the nurse that that was not an option, she scurried off to see what she could do. I told her I could reschedule if this was going to get crazy but she said she'd figure something out. Five minutes later she comes to get us in the waiting room and ushers me to the nurses lounge. Five young nurses greet us at the door and tell me they'll keep an eye on her. Fabulous! So I wheel Lu's stroller into the nurses lounge and hand her my Iphone with the flashcards app and away I go!

The procedure ended up taking 40 minutes :/ I hurry back to get Lu and find her surrounded by nurses and doctors. One of the doctors looks at me and says "She is SO SMART!" I was floored, I thought she would've been tearing the place up, freaking out because I'd been gone for nearly an hour. A nurse chimes in with "We were looking at flashcards, then we played Angry Birds...and she told me all about Facebook!" My little lady surprises me sometimes.

After grabbing a quick veggie dog we sped off to Lu's first gymnastics class all the way back uptown.

I finally decided to look into something more for Lu since soccer only happens once a week for an hour. She looks forward all week for it but it's over quickly then it's back to pestering me with "Soccer day??" every hour. I wasn't sure if she'd like it but I decided to give it a shot.

We get to the class with ten minutes to spare phewww then it's a trip to the potty and a costume change. I wasn't sure how it was supposed to work since she's only 2, did I need to go in with her? How would she react to making new friends? Well....she bolted into the gym and sat with the group so that meant I was off the hook! I could stay in the "lobby" with the other parents and watch behind the glass. This ALSO means that I can leave for an hour and grab groceries or a coffee! I might try that next week if she's in a good mood, although, I do enjoy watching! She was running, bouncing, twirling, somersaulting and laughing up a storm.

So happy she's enjoying it and I even managed to make a couple new mom friends which is always welcome.

Today is a day of recovery, taking it easy and watching movies. Quiet days are going to be few and far between the next little while so we best enjoy it while we can.

"My Eyes Hoit!"

So, we went to the pediatrician's office yesterday. I always feel weird about going, like I'm overreacting to her symptoms or something. I've never taken her for any reason that didn't end up requiring meds or treatment of some kind so that's reassuring. Guess I'm doing ok at this whole mothering deal. I love love love this office...like LOVE love them. Whenever I call, they can squeeze us in that day or early the next morning. The doctor we see is the nicest gentlest man and he's extremely knowledgeable and attentive.

So we get there and she immediately runs to the fishies and chats with a little boy who is also indulging in a little fish action. A minute later we're whisked away to a waiting room (have I mentioned I love this place?).
The doc comes in and this is how it goes:

Doc: "Hi Lula, how are you today?"
Lu: "Good, eyes hurt!"
Doc: "Oh no, are they itchy?"
Lu: "Itchy,scratchy" and then she rubs them for   the millionth time that day

Doc and I discuss treatment options and decide to try out anti-inflammatory eye drops for a week instead of a full course of allergy meds. The doctor writes up the prescription and gives
it to me. Lu requests it, so I hand it to her.

Lu: "Thank you doctor!"
Doc: "You're very welcome!"
Lu: "Doctor fix Lula?"
Doc: "I hope so!"

Lu gets up to leave and the doctor tells me that she's one of the smartest 2 year olds he has ever seen. She acts like a 3-4 year old apparently which rocks my socks off! He keeps saying "Wow!" everytime she talks to him. I love that my baby is a smart little miss but she's super special to me no matter what. As we walk out of the office, she yells "Byeeee, Thanks...See ya later!! LATERS!!!" I love this kid.

SHUSH OUT!

Baby Lu has discovered her inner hellraiser this week. I can't even count the number of times she's been to timeout. It's probably in the triple digits...and that's underestimating. She likes to tell me to "shush out" now. I'm thinking it's a variation of "hush" (which is what I tell her when she's gone on a tangent) and "shut up". I have no idea where she got the "shut up" part because it's not something commonly said in our home but I'm sure she listens to people talking when we're out in the world.

I'm starting to suspect that something else is going on though. She's been rubbing her eyes a lot and complaining that they, as well as her head, hurt. So today we're off to the pediatrician's office in the hopes of getting some answers. Could it be allergies?

Papa Bear and I don't have any allergies at all...like to anything. We could trip and fall into a pit of ragweed, hayfever, cat dander and peanuts and would come out happy/reeking of weeds and nuts.

Another concern is her vision. I have no reason to believe it's anything relating to her eyes other than they hurt her. Her daddy wears glasses and has astigmatism but my eyes are perfecto. She can see things from a mile away and up close so I've never even fathomed we could be dealing with an eye issue.

Despite all of my concerns, here she sits scarfing down oatmeal and asking when we will be going to the doctors to see the fishies. To her, the doctor's office is primarily an aquarium with a detour to see someone in a white coat...then back to the fishies.

Must Reads for Every Mommy!

Anyone who knows us, knows that we are far from the conventional family...but we are happy. I try to instill values in our daughter that we can all be proud of. She's confident, friendly and generous. Hell, that's all I can really strive for at this place in time. I still worry everyday that I'm doing something wrong or that she'll turn into a teenager who hates me despite all of my best efforts. I want to be one of those moms that their child can talk to no matter the reason, without fear of judgement.

I spend as much time as I can snuggling, talking and reading with her. I really think the reading is paying off because her vocabulary has increased 100 fold in the last month. She'll hold a conversation with anyone and will talk your ear off if you let her.

I love buying books that promote acceptance. I want her to know that whoever she becomes in this crazy world, that we'll be here loving her no matter what. Books that show you don't have to fit a certain type or dumb yourself down to make friends are what I hunt for. Accepting who you are is what is most important.

I wanted to share two of our favourite books that promote staying true to one's self. Each of these receive 5 enthusiastic baby Lu thumbs up! They remain at the top of the heap and get read constantly.

Mostly Monsterly by Tammi Sauer

We LOVE this book (serious serious understatement)! Bernadette is a monster, complete with fangs and claws but deep down she has a tender heart. She loves to bake treats and pet kitties despite it causing problems with her classmates at monster school. She finds a way to meld the two worlds and come out on top!

Highly recommend this book to all parents because of the great message, fab illustrations and all-around fun storyline.

Small Saul by Ashley Spires

Saul isn't your conventional pirate, he's a little smaller and gentler than his rough and tough counterparts. He learns at pirate school that pirates only care about three things: their ship, being tough and acquiring lots of treasure. After graduation, Saul is recruited onto The Rusty Squid to begin his life of plundering. He soon realizes that he isn't interested in the life of plunder and sword wielding. Saul wants to sing sea shanties, bake and redecorate which makes him stick out a little. His fellow pirates soon realize (almost a little too late) that despite their differences, Saul is a wonderful addition to the crew.

This is a lighthearted story about a little pirate who is finding his place in the world while staying true to himself.

Saul is a pretty awesome little pirate and would be more than welcome at my house to bake us some pineapple upside-down cake anytime!

"Tinkle, tinkle for little stars..."

Last week I decided that we needed to make potty training a priority. Lu will be 27 months old shortly...and frankly I'm sick of buying diapers. I hate diapers, they're expensive and wasteful. I'd love to do cloth with our next one but I don't have access to a washer and dryer at home. I'd have to drag my dirty diapers to the laundry room and pay a crazy amount of money/wasting a tonne of water washing 'em. Hard to figure out which would be better in the long run. My dad is really awesome about picking up diapers in his city (when he sees them on sale) and bringing them to us when he and my mother visit. It's like he's my second "baby daddy"...bringing diapers and (when Lu was small) formula.

Disposable diapers can be added to our compostable waste which is then picked up by the city. Unfortunately, my apartment building does not have a green box program. It's really frustrating when such options are available but big corporations only see the problems in instituting them as opposed to the benefits long term. I *could* sneak over to someone's green box on trash day and toss em in but how creepy would that be?

So we started potty training last week and it's been going quite well! I was surprised...people are always talking to me like every little thing she needs to accomplish will be difficult. When I cut her off of her pacifier, I was told to prepare for endless nights of crying. You know what? It was easy! I had a "sooce" addicted kid too...if she could've injected sooces into her veins directly, she would've done it! I took it away from her when she was 18 months old and explained that she was no longer a baby and that other babies were going to need her sooces. She helped us round them up and throw them out. She cried off and on that night as she tried to fall asleep without it. She eventually did and the rest is history...she never mentioned them again and we didn't miss them either.

When Lu was a year old, she would sit on her potty and go. We thought we had it made and she would be trained early. She, on the other hand, had other plans. After a month of training, she regressed until this point. I figured she was ready since she would tell us right after she had gone in her diaper. She knew she had to go...isn't that half the battle?

My plan was to create some kind of chart. A way for her and I to keep track of how often she was going. It helps motivate her like you wouldn't believe. We use small gold stars which she helps put on after she's gone to the potty. I don't think it's working because

of the stars but more because she is proud. She loves to show dh her progress and gets a high-five for her efforts!

As I'm typing, she is sitting on her potty. It's so rewarding knowing that your child is progressing in these big ways. Stuff that I dreaded having to go through, are actually easier than I thought. I guess I was being "bullied" into thinking that everything was going to be hard. Family and friends with their own kids love nothing better than to say how hard milestones will be to attain...I believed them. Guess you just have to take things as they come, only you know your kid!

Since last Wednesday, she has nearly 20 stars and I'm one happy momma. We've had the occasional accident in her underpants but she doesn't go on the floor. The accidents are 90% in her sleep which I can't fault her. It'll take some getting used to on her part but she's really handling it well. I'm lucky to have such a lovely easy-going miss.

New experiences...

Lu and I decided to check out our local Early Years Centre yesterday. She's 2 and we've never been to check out our free government child programs. It's weird I know, but I have a stroller phobia. Dh and I saved for months during my pregnancy to afford a Bugaboo. It's the Cadillac of strollers. I'm not pretentious and I didn't purchase it because it cost like a grand, I bought it because we don't drive. I needed a nice set of wheels, something that could turn on a dime and get onto buses with ease. It's traveled internationally too and works everywhere we've been.

My stroller is my car. I have used it everyday practically for the last two years. I can't even fathom the miles it has on it and sorta wish I had an odometer. It has never failed me and has been worth every last scrimping. Anywho, I'm getting away from the point...I fear my stroller being stolen. It happens quite frequently in the city, I read stories all the time. Craigslist ads from people putting out APB's..."It has a scuff near the wheel!" like their car is missing. Losing a stroller is tragic, especially if you have a small child.

So, the Early Years Centre doesn't have a safe place to put strollers, they're left outside near the front door. I might as well put a sign up saying "SWIPE THIS INSANELY EXPENSIVE, EASY TO SELL STROLLER!"

So yeah, I've been avoiding the Centre even though we could really benefit from the extra baby hangout times and it's free! I did some research and realized there was an off-site drop-in location and it was literally across the street from me! We went to check it out and sure enough there was a little spot inside to park strollers and I was like the 4th Bugaboo parked there. I felt safe and decided to venture into the class and sign up.

Lu ran directly to the little kitchen set up and played away happily. Mother's nursed, babies rolled around and some of the grandparents who brought their grandkids stared at me. I HATE being stared at by people. I'm tattooed, have a sleeve done and my chest...feet...legs...back...k I'm pretty much covered. I don't mind people staring at my work and love when people ask me what it's about but I HATE when people give me the side eye. I'm a good person, friendly and generous. I don't warrant angry looks and do not appreciate judgement calls without meeting me. If you meet me and think I'm a jerk, fine...then we're cool.

So my view of the Early Year's Centre...it was well-organized, staff was friendly, some mom's were approachable. No one introduced themselves to me but I chatted with another mom who seemed nice. It all felt a little cult-ish though. Everyone knew the songs and leered at me for not singing along. I just could't get into the mentality of singing and dancing with people I didn't know. I'm going to take her back again on Monday and hope it gets a little easier, otherwise we'll just do our own thing like we've always done.

Today we attended soccer. Lu loves soccer, she loves the coaches and the other kids. I love how she looks forward to Thursdays all week long. She attends "Little Kickers", it was started in the UK and now they have branches throughout the US and Canada. I can't say enough about the group, it's been a lifeline and we love attending every week. It's really helped her with learning to run and she has been working on her colours through different drills. Lu has a hard time naming colours and pretty much calls them all "blue". The sticker she receives at the end of soccer is her favourite part though, no matter what colour it is. Today a little girl shouted out "I like gymnastics better than soccer!" and we all laughed. The whole class is just hilarious, kids running amok and coaches trying to keep them in line. I have multiple friends who love to come with us because it's just so funny and awesome.

What I'd want her to know...

I'm sure it's every moms fear that they won't be there to see their child grow up. I found myself pondering this last night into the wee hours of the morning. Reflecting upon the death of a friend who passed days after the birth of her child, I couldn't just leave these thoughts be.

I don't live just for myself anymore, I am someone's everything. My daughter told me I was her best friend today and it melted my heart and scared the crap out of me. What if I'm not here forever, what if...?

You hear about all of these random deaths. A woman accidentally walks out in front of a bus or a stray bullet kills a teen. It got me wondering, at my daughter's age she might not remember me all that well in ten years. She would have to rely on other people's interpretations and memories.

So the big question is...what would I want her to know about us? About how I feel about her?

Dear Lu,

I'm writing this because I want to know that in the event I'm not around for you growing up that I loved you desperately. In highschool I probably would've been "the person least likely to parent". It was no secret among friends that I never wanted kids. It all changed when I met your daddy. After we got married, all I wanted to do was be a mom and one special day I became one. It was like the world stopped and my sole job was to raise you to be awesome. I wanted you to be strong, independent (but not too soon!), kind-hearted and intelligent. My life flipped a switch and it went from being all about me...to all about you and I loved every minute of it. From buying teeny tiny snuggly onesies to nursing in the middle of the night while watching a 1980s episode of Cops (which by the way is wayyyy better than the newer ones!)...I revelled in every milestone. Your first smile, first laugh, first crawl, first walk....first everything!

I want you to know that I made you an awesome baby book and it's full of all of these milestones. I thought you might get a kick out of them one day, like being able to see how much you weighed when you were 5 months old. These things were important moments for your daddy and I. We loved finding out you were thriving and that we were succeeding at that whole parenting thing.

Right now you're having a nap. Sleeping away with your little puppy in your arms, squeezing him so tight that I'm thankful we don't have a real puppy...because you would've loved him to death ages ago. You are very loving and gentle with the kitties, which I'm sure they appreciate.

You relish in pouring tea, giving sneaky unexpected kisses, grinning from ear to ear, playing soccer with your new baby friends and going for hot chocolate with me on our random strolls.

You have such a big personality and you make people smile everywhere you go...you make me soooo proud to be your mom.

What I want you to know is that no matter where I am, I'm thinking about you and there will always be a huge pile of people around to love you and take care of you. I hope you never need this letter and I hope I live til I'm 100 but I'd hate to leave you without it.

Love Mommy xo

Be bop a Lula, she's my baby...

Here's a quick run through of the last two years with my little miss! She was born in December of 2008 and has quickly become the center of our tiny family. We tried for over a year, rather unsuccessfully, to become parents and randomly it just happened. I had gone in for a consult to discuss our fertility options and the next day tested for the heck of it. Lo and behold a big sparkly +! We were both thrilled and so was everyone else in the family as this is the first baby in quite some time and the only grandchild.

My little miss is an awesome kid (I know, I know...every parent gushes) but really she is! She's friendly, polite and loves to play with other kids. One of my main issues as a new-ish parent, is finding other moms to hang out with. None of my friends have kids so I'm either stumbling across things to do or planning special outings so she can stretch her baby legs and mingle. Recently, we've joined a soccer league.

We love to go to random festivals and events but also enjoy spending a few hours in the sandbox at the local park. Here's one of my idiosyncrasies...I have this strange mindset that if I don't get out once a day and go for a walk or do something...that I'm missing out. It drives dh crazy to say the least. It means less time is spent lounging about which I feel guilty about because dh works so hard but we live in a huge city...you can practically trip over a festival so it's hard not to want to enjoy them!

I'm a strong-minded tattooed lady. I can't stand rude, ignorant or cruel people. Also, we are a family of vegetarians and consider ourselves eco-conscious. Guess we're a little wacky, dh is a computer nerd in an office environment and I'm a freelance graphic designer/sahm. We're on two ends of the job spectrum but it sure is handy having someone nearby to fix your computer at your whimsy.

I'm not sure why I have this itch to write but I'd love to be able to share our way of life with other moms and get some pointers while inspiring others to get out there and just do. Sometimes grabbing a coffee (and mini hot chocolate) are all it takes to break up the monotony of dishes, vacuuming and cat boxes.

So yeah, this is us. We're a little strange and not your conventional 20 something parents. I think I have a lot to say and hope someone somewhere wants to listen!

And awaaaay we go...

Guess I should do a brief intro to get this ball of fun rolling. I'm a mom, I'm married and I live in a big city with tonnes of things to do. My daughter Lu and I spend our days playing, reading and exploring our world together. It's rarely a dull moment.